Posts

Hate Will Never be Justified

I have had many thoughts over the past few days, and I'm sure most of you have as well. Whether or not people care what I have to say, I've decided to put it out there. When I was in 6th grade, my teacher would put daily quotes on the board for us to put in our journals...one of them I remember well that has been at the front of my mind lately is "Watch your thoughts; for they become your words. Watch your words; for they become your actions. Watch your actions; for they become habits. What your habits; for they become your character. Watch your character; for it will become your destiny." -Frank Outlaw. I've been thinking so much about our world today and what is happening, we have become a society that is mean. Do we ever have anything nice to say to one another? This is not to say that I haven't seen some amazing people do amazing things, and seen people that are absolutely wonderfully kind; I am just saying look at your social media feed. How much of it i…

Deployments, and other fun stuff.....

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As this first overseas deployment comes to a close(or a near close), I have been thinking about what I have learned, and I'd like to share. When we found out about deployment, I clung to the present, hoping that if I clung on hard enough, leave day would never come; well, let's get real...it doesn't work that day. As deployment came closer, I was really doubting myself and my ability to handle the house, car, dogs, and life in general by myself. Struggling with anxiety my entire life, and even worse the past few years, I was quite terrified that this was going to be the worst thing that would ever happen to me. I knew that we'd be apart for an anniversary, a milestone birthday for Sam, and 189 other days that we would not be together. I have learned a lot about what it is like to live alone and to manage without a partner for a longer period of time...the first and most important thing is; It's not that bad! I don't mean to say that I love being alone, I just m…

Emetaphobia

Since my last blog post, my husband Sam has encouraged me to continue writing, so here it goes. Last week, my sister and I got talking about this component of my anxiety called emetophobia...ever heard of it? 
The definition of Emetophobia is an intense phobia that causes overwhelming, intense anxiety pertaining to vomiting. This specific phobia can also include subcategories of what causes the anxiety, including a fear of vomiting in public, a fear of seeing vomit, a fear of watching the action of vomiting or fear of being nauseated. 
So I guess this is a pretty big deal for me...definitely not my only anxiety trigger, but it's a big one. For people who have known me my whole life pretty much know this is serious for me, but never have I ever met anyone with the same issues....so as I was talking to my sister, we started to wonder if their are others who share this deep rooted fear of Barf/Vomit/Puke/Throw up or whatever else ya'll call it...other people obviously suffer from t…

The truth about Anxiety

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I have been thinking about anxiety a lot lately, especially since I started following a page called "The Mighty". This page posts so many things about having anxiety and shares the truths that people do not understand about anxiety based on their followers experiences. It helps me a lot knowing that I am not the only one. I have often felt ashamed about my anxiety, and try to hide it from other people, even when it's threatening to crawl out and explode wherever I am....the thing is, I started to realize that when I read about anxiety, and it describes all of my crazy little quirks, I realize that no one would have written a book describing me, unless it was describing millions of others as well. As much as it is so great knowing that I am not alone in this awful struggle, it pains me to see others have the same struggles that I go through roughly everyday. I wish anxiety didn't exist, but it does, and somebody has to deal with it...this is my challenge, and I am rea…

2015..What a Year!

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Wow, what a year it has been, and I have been the worst blogger in the history of blogging. I plan on trying to be better come 2016 so we will see. 2015 started off rough, with anxiety and work and living in our tiny yet cute little village apartment. Little did we know at that point that we would buy a house and get two little adorable puppies. In January we thought our lives were pretty set, going to school, living near the university, our jobs were set, everything was fine. In May, we got word that my step dads' father would be selling his condo, and we decided to have a look. We LOVED the place and decided we would try to get going on getting a home loan so that we could own our own place and FINALLY have a garage.
We closed on our house on June 24 and painted the entire inside as well as replacing all of the light fixtures and switches and such. It was small touches that we redid, but it made all the difference and the home feels like ours. We have been so happy in our home a…

The Big 50!

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Today is a very special day...one that for me, is a day I want in my future. Fifty years ago today, my grandparents Lillian and Johney Colledge were married. When I think about marriage, it is a bond between husband and wife and it is the most important thing that we can do on this earth. I feel that for some, in this day and age, marriage is more disposable than it used to be. I have often looked at pictures like the one below and thought that it is such a true statement.
I am sure that my grandparents have gone through those bumps in the road, but they never once thought that they couldn't fix what they had. One of my favorite past times with my grandparents is listening to stories about their childhoods and early lives together. Among my favorite stories is the one about how they met. Once upon a time Johney B. Colledge was called on a mission to Canada. There he started teaching the Rodrigue family, my grandmas family. My grandpa baptized my grandma, and when he got home from …

The Big Move!

Some of you may have heard that Sam got into the University of Utah! We are so excited for him to start this journey and get his Degree in Computer Engineering. We have been talking for a while now about if we wanted to try to get an apartment rather than live with my dad, even though it has been just fine living with him. So we started to look for apartments in our price range that were closer to the U and finally had this brilliant idea to check out student housing. It turns out that student housing is Extremely affordable and is exactly what we are looking for; close to school, affordable, and looks like it came straight from the 70's! So we applied knowing that the waiting list was 3 months long. So we thought we would maybe move in October or something. We were hopeful so we put our requested move in date for August 22, the week before classes start. The day after we applied we got an email saying that they have an apartment available for us and our move in date would be Aug…