WARNING! This is my personal soapbox, if you do not want to continue reading, I have specifically not posted this to my regular social media so that no one has to actually read it. If you have come this far and clicked on this link, you may be more invested in my thoughts but read at your own risk.
We went to see the movie, The Sound of Hope: The Story of Possum Trot. This movie follows a small town in Texas, specifically a church group, in the late 90's that adopts over 70 children from the foster care system over roughly two years. It begins with the Donna, Wife of pastor W.C Martin losing her mom and in turn feeling lost. She feels this call from God to do something to make her life more like her mothers by serving. She decides to adopt children; when she breaks this to her husband he is not hearing the call from God, but eventually realizes they NEED to do this. After having a sibling set placed with them, WC realizes more and more how important this call was to take in vulnerable children. He uses his role as the pastor to call on his congregation.
I want to pause here in the story because it resonated so much with me.
This graphic was posted on one of the many fostering pages I follow online and I believe that WC Martin met those first children and realized exactly this! I know that when we started fostering, no matter how much I had already researched about it and known about it, I didn't REALLY KNOW until I really knew! Now that I know, I will never look away. The experience of having little lives in your home gives you this perspective that is like no other can.
Now back to the movie. As WC Martin preaches, his congregation really heeds his words and they hop on the bandwagon--the fostering bandwagon, and boy do I ever wish I could get people to hop on this amazing bandwagon with me. WC and his congregation are made up of 22 foster families that commit to adopting children. I presume most of the children placed with the congregations families are waiting children, meaning that biological parents rights have been terminated by the court and they are waiting for a forever home. These families graciously take in these kids.
As I was watching, I noticed many things that were 100% correct. I also noticed things that weren't really what my experience was. Soon the families in Possum Trot realize that maybe they are struggling more than they thought. Donna says in the movie that Love can change these children and their behaviors. I love the sentiment, but I do disagree. We can love all day and all night and into the eternities, but sometimes these behaviors that come form a deep down place of trauma and hurt cannot be fixed with love. It can help, but it's not a magical thing that makes trauma disappear. This is a hard truth that many foster and adoptive families most likely face at some point. It's my opinion that no matter how hard a child is, it does not mean they don't deserve the love and connection from their very own family. The people of Possum Trot had to begin learning this, and they had to learn to lean on each other always. In our foster journey, our families have been very supportive and willing to help, but their is still nothing like talking to other people in the thick of foster care about what they are going through. As this community comes together, they learn and they grow. They THRIVE! I won't spoil the ending, but I will say it is a must-see.
Their is one overarching theme that WC continues to preach to his community, which is to pay attention and don't turn a blind eye to these vulnerable children. Too many times I feel that even people in my own life turn a blind eye to what is happening in the system. I wish foster care did not have to be a thing, but since it does, I cannot look away. I will "preach" about my experiences and call my community to action. I fully understand that not everyone is cut out for this, not everyone feels it is their responsibility...you might be thinking, "Why me?" "Why not someone else?" These children are thinking the exact same thing. Period.
The last thing I really want to leave you with this post are some statistics about the foster care system.
These statistics speak for themselves.....
Here are some links to learn more as well......
https://dcfs.utah.gov/wp-content/uploads/FY23-annual-report-DCFS-Final-5.pdf
https://www.acf.hhs.gov/sites/default/files/documents/cb/afcars-report-30.pdf
Many will ask how to support without becoming a foster parent....here is a link
https://adoption.com/7-ways-to-help-kids-in-foster-care-without-becoming-a-foster-parent
Finally, don't look away. Do your research, find out for yourself and ask all the questions. Even if all y'all just decide I'm crazy, at least I can feel better knowing I put it out there.
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